Focus is a funny thing. We get our basic understanding of movies and stories of people who go on to great things. They all had focus. I have always been that was always lacking in the focus department, starting things and not finishing. Not able to complete basic tasks. I was not focused. This is something that upsets me and I really decided I need to work on it if I want to get anywhere in life. Let's talk about what focus really is and how we can all get a little better at it.
The Movies Were Wrong
When we watch movies about where focus and concentration are trying to be displayed, we see the cool montage of crazy work ethic. The time clicks, hours pass by, and our hero doesn’t stop. They are focused.
It’s not really the movie's fault for giving us these unrealistic expectations. They are trying to convey a certain emotion or idea in a very short period of time. As we know, life is rarely like the movies, but we still think that we need to have a certain amount of concentration to succeed in life.
What happens in real life
What really does happen is we try to accomplish something. It can be a small task or finish a big project for work. We start and we do well for a bit, and then our focus begins to wane. We get up to give our liquid help (Coffee) and get right back to it.
We pick u the pace, as the coffee kicks in. We get more done, but alas our focus begins to falter once again. We try to push through and get our tasks done. At one point in any person's journey to complete large tasks our focus is completely failing us. We take a small break, realize that we are 3 minutes over the designated time, and decided to extend. 7 hours later our TikTok binge is out of control and we feel like a failure. We couldn’t keep our focus long enough to finish our task in one go. We feel like we failed. Does that sound familiar.
What we get wrong
From movies, our parent's expectations, or other factors, we have this idea that if our focus is broken for even 5 minutes we have failed. This is absolutely wrong. We get into a vicious cycle of procrastination and self-hate for not achieving what we set out to do. When we try better next time, we fall into the same circle and as time goes on it really becomes obstructive.
I have a serious concentration problem. Like really bad. I am inefficient and put way too much on my plate, that even if I worked uninterrupted for 24 hours straight I would still not finish what I set out to do. I was explaining my despair to one of my professors in college, and he told me I need to meditate.
I Tried to Medidate
This is the funniest thing that I had to do. It goes against every bone in my body. To sit there and concentrate, on nothing. Thankfully my professor was an expert o the topic and told me what to do.
I am not going to go into the details of the type and my prescription, but I was in good hands. I sat there and tried to clear my mind, and things started to pop into my head. Did I turn off the stove? Do I have a paper due? I wonder what my Neighbor is thinking about right now? Yeah. It didn’t go so well, but I stuck to it for 2 weeks.
I met with my professor with my findings. It sucked. If anything my focus is worse! I felt like a lost cause, and that I will never be able to work 8 hours straight. Then like a true Sensei, he gave me the lesson and why I had actually been successful.
What Focus really is
I was explaining that I couldn’t go 5 minutes without a thought popping into my head. I was telling him how I had to always catch myself and focus again. Then sure enough after 10 minutes, the same thing would happen. He told me I was a success.
He told me that focus or concentration isn’t about being “on” the whole session. It is the realization that your mind is wandering, and to bring yourself back to the center.
What we need to do to regain our focus
It is going to happen we are going to lose our focus, but it is our job to realize it and bring ourselves back to work. It takes time, and practice. The most important takeaway to become more focused was to not be hard on myself.
Focus like hunger and other things comes in waves. It's ok not to be focused, but how you deal with it will dictate your success. So instead of being upset about breaking focus, Take the break that you need. It's ok if you took a 47-minute break instead of the 30-minute break. As long as you get back to the task at hand.
Everybody has their process. Some will watch TV, some will go to the gym, but we have to be deliberate. We have to build a structure to our wandering mind, so we make sure that we can come back to our projects with a fresh mind and get it done.
An On-Going Journey
It is true we will get better at focusing. We might start meditating and becoming better, but we all will fall off the wagon. We will quit diets, we will stop saving money, and we will start losing our focus in a big way. There is no quick fix. We have to get back on the wagon, and most importantly we have to forgive ourselves for being human.